Death by Moe

OHEYLOOKIT’SBLCKAGAIN!

 Ugh, great my entire body hurts and for no apparent reason at that. My shoulder is sore and it hurts everytime I move it. Then there’s my wrist that starts hurting whenever I bend it and finally my back that’s … euh … just hurts.

My wrist hurts probably from forcing to draw so much this week. Plus, I’m having a sort of art block and only witty 4komas seem to come to mind. Not that 4komas are bad thing, though.  My shoulder and back hurt from bad sleeping positions, probably … I haven’t been falling asleep very easily and my mind isn’t in the mood for BLCDs either. I’m getting so pissed at myself for no reason because of that though.

Anyways, since I have no school tomorrow (-joy-) I’m going to try actually working on Dark Crimson (which, at the rate I’m writing it, will never finish).

I’ve got the base plot down to a dot and all is left is to write it. -cries-

I’ve also wanted to update my NaruSasu/SasuNaru (not sure who’s going to be seme, yet O_<) fanfic “Half a Loaf of Bread”. I’ve had the draft for chapter one written for a while now but I haven’t been able to final it >.> due to my inexplicable fatigue lately.

That aside, life itself is at a neutral position. The other day I was quite depressed when I was hit with the sudden realization that no matter what I do it’s impossible for me to go back to the place I really belong to.

I always knew it, sure. But it’s actually pointed out to you like pen on paper … it’s sort of hurts more.

I had to force myself to try to look on the bright side … which is that I still talk to my friends from back there and that ‘my place’ isn’t that far-away from this hell. Two years and a half more … I won’t say it’ll be easy but I have to survive. Friends or not, motivation or not.

Despite my obvious lack of interest in learning (ever since I moved), I have to force myself. Why? Not sure exactly.

Because I have to get into college? Maybe. Because I have to please my parents? No way.

I just thought that maybe, just maybe, if I tried just a little bit harder I could survive at school at the very least. Honestly though, at this point, forcing myself to fit in is hard; especially since I purposely distanced myself from everyone.

At any rate, it’s either try or continue being alone 24/7 at school. The latter doesn’t seem all that bad considering how much I enjoy alone time but the ‘24/7′ part is really harsh.

I love keeping to myself but I also love letting out the inner-fangirl that I am from time to time. I was able to let that part of me out in my old school since there were people who can understand at least 50% of my obsession with anime.

(If I ever find someone who is an even level of yaoi-obsession insanity as me (RL, of course), I will climb the highest mountain and proclaim it to the world, swear)