Do you regret being an Anime Fan?

August 26, 2008 at 2:57 pm | In Uncategorized | 10 Comments
Tags: anime fan, otaku, Rant, regret

Another Oofuri image

When I’m alone, bored and not sleepy, I tend to ask myself to stupidest of questions and make a big deal about it. This is the same thing really. It’s something I do instead of counting sheep (or listening to others count sheep for me). The answer to the question is obvious; No, I don’t regret being an Anime Fan or a Fujoshi for that matter.

This isn’t going to be one of those posts where I’ll end up talking/writing about otaku being looked down by a big part of society and the rest. I did that already. This is more a personal rant than anything else. And yes, this is what I’m doing instead of watching Antique Bakery.

I came down to this question when I was thinking about school. During most (if not all) of my 9th grade, I was miserable, lonely and all-around bitter. I was forced to change schools because we moved and I didn’t take it very reasonably. I stopped putting an effort in my studies and turned to anime and its community as a distraction. I even started seriously blogging, watching anime like mad and listening to drama CDs. It helped make everything else in life more bearable. I guess it was something like escapism.

Then I think about now. We somehow had everything work out and I can attend my old school again this year. If I trust what most of friends say, then, I didn’t change. I’m still the same as before if not more of a geek than I already was. Hearing that was a relief but deep down I knew there’s something I had before and lost during that last year. That ’something’ is social skills. I still have them, mind you. But I don’t use them anymore. If something changed, then, it’s that I hate being around too much people. I hate socializing. I hate parties. I hate being with more than four-five people at once. It’s tiring and annoying. I enjoy my alone time or being with close friends.

Do I regret being an Anime Fan? No.

So, alright, I gave up on my social life for anime. But there was some good to it … at least to me. Because I turned to anime blogging as a distraction, I sort of had to be careful about it. The majority of anime bloggers are way older than me and the majority of people my age on the internet are morons. Whenever I posted or commented anywhere, I had to put an effort in not sounding like an idiot. Maybe I’m stupid for trying but I didn’t want to be criticized just because of my age. And now here I am able to admit I’m fifteen without a guilty conscience.

I swear this post isn’t an excuse to post more Oofuri

Way back then, before the 9th grade, I loved anime. I loved anime about as much as I love anime now (probably about 20% more today). But back then, I was more of a moron about it. It was just entertainment. I didn’t skip out on my friends or create excuses just so I can watch anime. I didn’t have a blog. I didn’t discuss anime out of some conversations with friends. And when I did talk about it out of RL (namely on gaiaonline, lol) it was limited to “INUYASHA IS SO HOT!” “KIRA IS SO CUTE!” “OMG SAUCY!” blah, blah blah … -laughs- Should I call that the good ‘ol days?

Well, now that the dark ages that was grade nine ended, anime is back to being just entertainment. The only proof something changed is that I have a blog. I didn’t completely lost my social life either. I still have my close friends and they’re enough for me. Sure, my dad is a nag about my lack of “normal interests” but I learned not to care about his unreasonable criticism.

Do I regret being an Anime Fan? Nope not at all.

Plus, it’d be stupid to regret being an anime fan at this point. I owe anime a lot. Had it not been for anime, I would’ve probably turned to drugs or whatever to escape RL problems. That’s way worst than becoming socially inept if you ask me. So, what was the point of this post again? Not a clue really. From the beginning, I already was an Anime Fan. If you asked me what cartoons I enjoyed the most when I was a kid, I’d reply with CCS, Pokemon, DBZ and Sailor Moon because at the time, I thought they were American. Sure, I didn’t know what anime was until Inuyasha but I already was an anime fan by then. I think about it again and I realize, I never really had any major interests aside anime/manga and the rest. I enjoyed writing, but my first real story was an Inuyasha fanfic. I enjoyed reading, but my favorite stories were fanfiction as well. I enjoyed drawing, but I drew anime style. I loved music, but a lot of my favorite songs were anisongs. All my life, a lot of what I did was connected to the fact that I love anime. I still love writing, I still love reading and I still love to draw. My interests expanded but it’s because of anime that that happened.

Yeah really, this post didn’t really have a point to begin with. The end answer to the question is still and will always be no. Even if one day I grow apart from anime, I know I’ll never stop writing, loving music, reading and drawing. And deep down, I won’t forget that it was anime at the core of those hobbies and interests. So there. (Who the fuck was I proving myself to anyway?)

Now I’ll stop putting Antique Bakery and watch it.

(I’m glad I chose to write about this topic instead of “Why bishies never punch each other?” which would be more of me fangirling than actually writing something with substance)

10 Comments »

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Hmm, I don’t think I would’ve ever guessed you were fifteen.

Comment by adaywithoutme — August 26, 2008 #

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I literally refreshed Anime Nano and this post showed up lol.
For me, there’s always that clear divide between anime and RL. The internets, blogging and anime are for nerding out, and RL is for the sun (it burns my eyes!) and social interaction. But there is no way I’d regret being an anime fan. I’ve seen some anime that entertain me, some make me laugh, and on rare occasions make me become melancholic and wax philosophic on the nature of life itself. There aren’t many things that have exposed me to such a variety of feelings and thoughts, and still entertain me with whatever I see.

So do I regret being an anime fan? No.

Aside: You’re fifteen and I’ll never value your opinions again for the next two years XD! It’s actually great to see that here are younger and younger bloggers arriving on the internet, ready to draw, think, watch, read, write and converse with other like-minded people. Fresh perspectives are always needed in any sort of field. Incidentally, you’re actually my senpai in anime watching and owning a blog ^^;

Comment by omisyth — August 26, 2008 #

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I’d only regret it if it made me unhealthy, physically or mentally. So far, it hasn’t, so I guess it’s not a bad thing. ^_^

Comment by Caitlin — August 26, 2008 #

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First of all…I’d like to read “Why bishies never punch each other”

You know, I still get surprised when I remember your age. I don’t think I was a dumb piece of crap when I was that age either, but I still think you sound smarter than I did back then. Or rather…my fictional writing style from back then makes me want to barf anyway.

I think a lot of us “geeks” in any fandom (anime, sci-fi, whatever) have our own stories about why we get involved in fiction. I’ve probably always been a dork (I blame my brother), so I just got more into dorky stuff to deal with people making fun of me, but I’d say my otaku level came from being sick and stuck in my house all the time. No matter what causes it, if you’re in your house for an extended period of time and have an anime hobby, your hobby will grow and take up more of your time.

I don’t regret being an anime fan either (it kept me from thinking that those two years where I was sick were a complete waste of time). I don’t think anyone should unless they turn into a super creepy lolicon. Being an anime fan helped make you who you are today. I can attribute one special half-anime movie to all of my tastes in entertainment. Without anime, I’d be a very different person, and I’m not sure I’d like who I might become.

Anyway who regrets being an anime fan is just being stupid. It’s fine to regret spending all of your time on anime, but don’t regret being a fan entirely. If you enjoyed it, it was worth it!

Comment by FuyuMaiden — August 26, 2008 #

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Never would have thought you were fifteen! boy you girls have a lot of luck to watch lots of BL and anime at such a young age ^^ (gah, after saying that I feel old)

Well I’ve always been a social hermit, in fact anime helped me open up and feel good about myself, so no I don’t regret being a fujoshi and otaku for the exception of not having enough money to satiate all my anime shopping.

Even when society scorns your fangirlism… I just don’t give a damn anymore, I’m done trying to please other people’s expectations, and all otaku should feel the same (of course good manners are a must).

Comment by yaku — August 27, 2008 #

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with the exception of college, wherever i end up (school, work, social circles, etc), i’ve always been blessed (?… i guess) with a person or two who are into anime so my own fandom didn’t die out. but nowadays, i don’t care anymore what people think about me. i’m happy the way i am so they shouldn’t rain on my parade.

Comment by biankita — August 27, 2008 #

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@ adaywithoutme: I take that’s a good thing, so thanks. =D

@ omisyth: Whoa?! Senpai? That feels kinda strange, lol. It’s really awesome when I meet other people my age on the internet who aren’t morons but unfortunately there still aren’t many of them. Then again, the more smart people arrive, the more morons show up too so maybe I should be satisfied with how things are now.

@ caitlin: Good point. It looks like I’m still sane so no worries. =D

@ Fuyu: Precisely! I don’t think I’ve really met anyone who has regretted being an anime fan ever. But thing is, there’s people who think we should regret it. Well, around me, there’s my dad namely and there’s always a few people here and there who ask me why I even bother wasting/ruining my life on anime. I don’t think I’m wasting my life and I don’t think it’s ruining my life either. Maybe I should point this rant towards the people who think anime fans are wasting their lives away. =/ (actually I came up with /some/ content I can put in a “Why Bishies don’t punch each other?” post … It’ll show up soon enough)

@ yaku: Lucky? Yeah probably. I don’t think anyone else can look at it that way though. Har, har. Some people think they should pity me for coming across Boku no Pico at the age of … what? 12-13? … Okay, or maybe I pity myself for that whole incident.

@ biankita: Same here. I’ve always been that lucky. That’s probably why I’ve never had the need to hide that I’m a fujoshi in the first place.

Comment by saimaisama — August 27, 2008 #

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@saimaisama: well I rather be exposed to nice handsome guys and boys rather than having a live action lesbian p0rn be my first experience at 7-8 years old ^^

Boku No Pico is your fault, period XD

Comment by yaku — August 27, 2008 #

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Erm, I read this blog once in a while and I just found out you’re fifteen, so I have to say this is a big surprise. Maybe because most anime bloggers are older than that… Or maybe just because I am fourteen and I feel like I am too young to be a fujoshi sometimes.

Back to the point, I understand what you mean. I suffered a lot a few years ago because my personality wasn’t accepted by those around me, including my parents. I kept trying to be accepted, but I was too afraid to open up to *anyone* and they were always hurting me. I think that’s why at some point I was all “screw the rules, I don’t care for feelings anymUWAAAAA~ ;_;”.
Anyway, I was an anime/manga fan back then, but I wouldn’t read anything other than shoujo (I liked Gals!, for instance) and was slowly losing interest in it. I was interested in psychology too, probably because of my multiple disorders. orz …and writing fanfiction too. That’s all I knew about myself.
Then I watched this thing called Evangelion. And later, I became an anime/manga fan.
I changed a lot since then. Of course I grew up and matured, but that is not all. I don’t know if I became a more “respectable” person, but I know myself much better, I understand my reasons for liking anime (and fiction as a whole) and don’t think of myself as a lesser being because of that. I have a few close friends, a good relationship with my parents, I still avoid crowds and I like my bishounen. Basically, I like what I do, and I know I could be different – I just don’t want to.

Whew! I tried to keep that short and sweet, but I failed. Sorry. But what I meant to say is: “I agree, it’s not bad to be an anime fan”.

p.s.: everything is “a good excuse to post Oofuri images”.

Comment by Rahzel — August 27, 2008 #

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[...] wouldn’t have wanted to blab about had I not read saimaisama’s post about ‘regreting being an anime fan‘ later that [...]

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