BLCD: Big Gun o Motsu Otoko

Today was a … unexpectedly … good day. It was bright and sunny outside, I had fun at school for once [since exams are over classes are just a formality now] and I come home to great news of Scarlet having a two-disk freetalk! One CD for Hatano and Suzuki Chihiro and the other for SugiTomo and Yuutan! I love you Atis collection! SO DAMN MUCH! Every Atis CD I listen to has me going “BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL PRICELESS!” Shinayaka na Netsujo, Kotonoha no Hana, Honey, Love Neco … Ironic? They are all my favs! Yeah, don’t get me started on KnH again because I can’t rant for ages about how beautiful that CD was.

Back to scarlet. After learning from a certain post in this blog that SugiTomo and Yuutan were pretty close friends, I’ve been squeeing over the two. It’s unfortunate that I have to wait until August to get my SugiTomoxYuutan though. I comforted myself with seeing Yuutan in the Oofuri Event DVD.

Well, since I started on BLCDs I might as well continue [not that this post had a point from the beginning]. So I recently decided to give Big gun o Motsu Otoko a re-listen. Since you probably don’t know about it, I’ll explain.

Left to right, top to bottom: Tomo, Jin, Masaki, Yosh, Rei

Big gun is the best BL crack since … euh … ever. Now if Geass decided to officially go BL, it’d be like having Lulu becoming a maid for the rest of the Geass cast. Crack and insanity ensues. Hard to make a decision on who would play as Robert the foreigner … anywho

I’ll give each character as short description since there’s a lot of them.

First our Uke, Masaki who is completely resigned to his situation. Oh he struggles sometimes but ALWAYS gives in anyway. He’ll do ANYTHING he’s told. And I really mean anything. He’s voiced by Chiba Susumu.

Next Jin who is in the CIA or FBI or something. He has S&M and Bondage toys in his closet. And that’s all really to say about him. He’s voiced by Narita Ken.

Rei, the doctor. Eh … he’s voiced by Takahashi Hiroki.

Tomo the really cute one! He’s a baker. He enjoys coating Masaki in chocolate. He’s voiced by Yamaguchi Kappei.

Yoshi the super famous hairdresser whose got customers from Hokkaido coming to see him because he’s so good at his job [hairdressing? or harassing people? I’m not so sure] … he’s voiced by oh-so-seductive Yusa Kouji.

Last of the brothers, Shin [who appears in the second drama] who is a famous magician in the States where he’s known as Mr. X (hello mister originality). He enjoys … uh … making roses appear in the strangest of places (if you know what I mean)

FINALLY, Robert the awesome foreigner who speaks crap Japanese. We get more of his awesomeness in the second drama. He’s voiced by the wonderful Hirakawa Daisuke!

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As I saying, Big Gun is basically this: Our uke Masaki is brought into the Kazamatsuri household to be their maid after being raped by the eldest brother … and there’s four brothers [not including the one that appears in the second drama] As you would expect, Masaki isn’t just their maid but also their sex slave toy too.

1. Narita Ken x Chiba Susumu
2. Takahashi Hiroki x Chiba Susumu
3. Yusa Kouji x Chiba Susumu
4. Yamaguchi Kappei x Chiba Susumu
5. Chiba Susumu x Yusa Kouji
6. Chiba Susumu x Takahashi Hiroki
7. Chiba Susumu x Narita Ken

As you can very well see, there’s Chiba Susumu everywhere. Oh no no no! Having him uke with everyone isn’t enough! We must have him seme everyone too … with the excuse that everyone’s stressing over their jobs and need to be fucked hard to be able to sleep.

Yusa-uke? Okay. Takahashi-uke? Okay. NariKen-uke? GAH!!! -runs away- The NariKen-uke in this drama has got to be my worst experience since Kappei’s eardrum-breaking H-scene in Muteki: Aitsu ni Muchu. The scary part was Jin’s (NariKen character) … S&M play. That scarred the crap out of me. I never ever ever want to hear that again.

By stroke of total irony, Kappei doesn’t even get to play uke in this drama (despite ALWAYS being an uke) which absolute LOL. Kappei’s adorable seme is great though … like Love Neco’s seme [Takeuchi Ken].

I’ll admit that Chiba is a GREAT uke and seme though. It scarred me hard when he went from unwilling-but-sensitive to mean-seductive-seme in SECONDS. I was like “WHOA CHIBA?!” … I think it was with Yusa that he did that …

Hey did I mention how there’s LONG ero-scenes in virtually each track?

The Freetalk CD was an awesome listen as well. It was long too. Big Gun’s freetalk is one of my favorites. It’s laughs and crack all the way really. Recommended listen for those wanting pure BL crack … not recommended for those wanting something sensical. Sense? What sense? [Big Gun really is the BL version of Geass with less cast and melonpan … actually there isn’t any melonpan in Big Gun]

But that’s just the first drama.

Left to Right: Robert, Masaki and Shin

So when I downloaded the next drama, I thought it couldn’t get any crazier. Boy was I wrong. Crack can go far folks. Don’t underestimate it. Underestimating crack would be like seeing Mao come back to life and actually being surprised (everyone wants Mao back in Geass right? MAKE IT HAPPEN SUNRISE! XD) [okay, I’ve gottan to stop comparing things to Geass back to Big Gun]

1. Narita Ken x Chiba Susumu
2. Miyata Kouki x Chiba Susumu
3. Yusa Kouji + Takahashi Hiroki x Chiba Susumu
4. Yamaguchi Kappei x Chiba Susumu
5. Chiba Susumu x Miyata Kouki

The second CD has the 5th brother coming back from America to the Kazamatsuri household. Not much seme/uke reverse play in this one but we get a threesome. The craziest part [besides the threesome] had to be Masaki having a wet dream about Roberto the stereotypical foreigner who can’t speak Japanese properly. Did I mention you get to hear LOL-able Engrish from Hirakawa Daisuke? I swear, I was blushing so hard I had to pause and cool down. Oh it was the funniest thing ever yes … but under the circumstances? It was pretty seductive still. When I heard the “I want you to be nearby” I was LOL’ing and blushing at the same time. Fucked, really.

Then there was the Omake CD which featured all seiyuus in a solo drama with themselves. Basically, NariKenxNariKen, YusaxYusa, KappeixKappei, ChibaxChiba and so on. Hirakawa, Chiba and Yusa are awesome both ways. NariKen had me go “whut?” Miyata was adorable and Kappei! OMG KAPPEI!? I think he did an old manxprisoner or something. I LOL’d so hard. Kappei’s old man voice was like L … but … euh … old.

The freetalk was funny again but not as funny as the previous one. Chiba had me laughing when he was like “There was ero in each track. It was tiring.” It must’ve of been REALLY tiring ‘cuz even his character sounded tired of being played around with.

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This post has now gone over a thousand words. I was supposed to review “Hanamuko-san” too but I’ll leave that for tomorrow then. In other news, TTGL is epic. It’s great seeing Kamina again. Also, Takahashi Rumiko has finally ended Inuyasha today! Just saw the spoilers. I’ll write a post on it when I find scans though. It’s worth laughing at.