Another Oofuri image
When I’m alone, bored and not sleepy, I tend to ask myself to stupidest of questions and make a big deal about it. This is the same thing really. It’s something I do instead of counting sheep (or listening to others count sheep for me). The answer to the question is obvious; No, I don’t regret being an Anime Fan or a Fujoshi for that matter.
This isn’t going to be one of those posts where I’ll end up talking/writing about otaku being looked down by a big part of society and the rest. I did that already. This is more a personal rant than anything else. And yes, this is what I’m doing instead of watching Antique Bakery.
I came down to this question when I was thinking about school. During most (if not all) of my 9th grade, I was miserable, lonely and all-around bitter. I was forced to change schools because we moved and I didn’t take it very reasonably. I stopped putting an effort in my studies and turned to anime and its community as a distraction. I even started seriously blogging, watching anime like mad and listening to drama CDs. It helped make everything else in life more bearable. I guess it was something like escapism.
Then I think about now. We somehow had everything work out and I can attend my old school again this year. If I trust what most of friends say, then, I didn’t change. I’m still the same as before if not more of a geek than I already was. Hearing that was a relief but deep down I knew there’s something I had before and lost during that last year. That ‘something’ is social skills. I still have them, mind you. But I don’t use them anymore. If something changed, then, it’s that I hate being around too much people. I hate socializing. I hate parties. I hate being with more than four-five people at once. It’s tiring and annoying. I enjoy my alone time or being with close friends.
Do I regret being an Anime Fan? No.
So, alright, I gave up on my social life for anime. But there was some good to it … at least to me. Because I turned to anime blogging as a distraction, I sort of had to be careful about it. The majority of anime bloggers are way older than me and the majority of people my age on the internet are morons. Whenever I posted or commented anywhere, I had to put an effort in not sounding like an idiot. Maybe I’m stupid for trying but I didn’t want to be criticized just because of my age. And now here I am able to admit I’m fifteen without a guilty conscience.
I swear this post isn’t an excuse to post more Oofuri
Way back then, before the 9th grade, I loved anime. I loved anime about as much as I love anime now (probably about 20% more today). But back then, I was more of a moron about it. It was just entertainment. I didn’t skip out on my friends or create excuses just so I can watch anime. I didn’t have a blog. I didn’t discuss anime out of some conversations with friends. And when I did talk about it out of RL (namely on gaiaonline, lol) it was limited to “INUYASHA IS SO HOT!” “KIRA IS SO CUTE!” “OMG SAUCY!” blah, blah blah … -laughs- Should I call that the good ‘ol days?
Well, now that the dark ages that was grade nine ended, anime is back to being just entertainment. The only proof something changed is that I have a blog. I didn’t completely lost my social life either. I still have my close friends and they’re enough for me. Sure, my dad is a nag about my lack of “normal interests” but I learned not to care about his unreasonable criticism.
Do I regret being an Anime Fan? Nope not at all.
Plus, it’d be stupid to regret being an anime fan at this point. I owe anime a lot. Had it not been for anime, I would’ve probably turned to drugs or whatever to escape RL problems. That’s way worst than becoming socially inept if you ask me. So, what was the point of this post again? Not a clue really. From the beginning, I already was an Anime Fan. If you asked me what cartoons I enjoyed the most when I was a kid, I’d reply with CCS, Pokemon, DBZ and Sailor Moon because at the time, I thought they were American. Sure, I didn’t know what anime was until Inuyasha but I already was an anime fan by then. I think about it again and I realize, I never really had any major interests aside anime/manga and the rest. I enjoyed writing, but my first real story was an Inuyasha fanfic. I enjoyed reading, but my favorite stories were fanfiction as well. I enjoyed drawing, but I drew anime style. I loved music, but a lot of my favorite songs were anisongs. All my life, a lot of what I did was connected to the fact that I love anime. I still love writing, I still love reading and I still love to draw. My interests expanded but it’s because of anime that that happened.
Yeah really, this post didn’t really have a point to begin with. The end answer to the question is still and will always be no. Even if one day I grow apart from anime, I know I’ll never stop writing, loving music, reading and drawing. And deep down, I won’t forget that it was anime at the core of those hobbies and interests. So there. (Who the fuck was I proving myself to anyway?)
Now I’ll stop putting Antique Bakery and watch it.
(I’m glad I chose to write about this topic instead of “Why bishies never punch each other?” which would be more of me fangirling than actually writing something with substance)