In the middle of nowhere, there is deserted island that isn’t so deserted. More than half the island is a gorgeous, Victorian-styled mansion. A mansion you can’t afford even if you won the lottery twice. However, this is a fantasy world and things like money and common sense don’t need to exist. Why? Because this is your fantasy world. And in this world, you’re the master, the king, the emperor, the fuhrer and whatever other title that shows ultimate superiority over man and beast.
You are the master of a house where all your servants and friends are your beloved two-dimensional characters.
Enjoy the time of Bishies.
(Warning: Please do not take to his post seriously. If you are easily offended, prone to rage and/or unable to comprehend my humor, then do not read what’s under the break. Thank you.)
My personal “Waifu” team
Arthur Kirkland (England)
After a long day of doing absolutely nothing, I’ll come home tired and abnormally fatigue. Arthur’s at the door with a disconcerted look because he has to say something but his pride and tsundere nature won’t allow him to do it. I’ll smirk and say “Come on, Iggy. Say it.” He’ll swallow and mumble curses under his breath before muttering: “W-welcome home,” to which I’ll reply “A little louder. What’s next?”
Arthur will then say: “What you would like to have? D-dinner? A Bath? … O-or m-maybe …” His face will turn bright red with ultimate embarrassment. “… me?”
To which I’ll die of moe while I call Alfred to violate Arthur right then and there.
Matthew Williams (Canada)
My first legal waifu was Matty boy. He’s so cute. It’s hard to resist wanting to claim him. When I first laid eyes on him, I knew I had to make him mine. So I did and now he lives at the mansion.
It’s really too bad I can’t see him half the time.
My personal Dakimakura
Mio has absolutely no idea what she’s doing here. Actually, she thinks it’s all a dream and that soon she’ll wake up to Ritsu’s sleeping face (Ritsu and Mio are my K-ON OTP). Okay, so maybe in her reality this a dream.
Though, it doesn’t change that fact that, when Iggy’s busy getting violated by Alfred at night, I use her as a personal pillow. Pui pui!
My personal Mistresses
On occasions when Iggy is on loan from Alfred and Matty is nowhere to be seen, I walk into the living room only to find Roderich sitting there with a cup of coffee on the glass table, a newspaper in hand, his legs crossed with nothing but a long white polo on him.
I am definitely not the only one who finds that sexy. (Plus, he can sow. That’s even sexier.)
Because Suzaku found out I stole Lulu, I had to demote him from Waifu to Mistress. We often play chess together, but I also lose within minutes. That’s why I tried to teach him Mahjong. I was proud to have won a couple of games until Lulu understood how it worked. I started losing from then on. Suzaku often shows up in his Lancelot to steal Lulu back from me. He fails, of course. Set-chan and his Exia totally pwns him.
And yes, Lulu thinks I’m Nunnally. That’s the only reason he hasn’t escaped on his own yet (Suzaku’s always stalking the premises).
The woman who could’ve been a waifu. But she’s way too spiteful to be called a waifu. Plus, she’s a yandere who thinks she’s a tsundere. There’s something awfully off but really hot about that.
Why is it she’s not as popular as Mio yet?
My personal security Team
Matt, Mello and Near
Well, they are geniuses. But that’s only part of the reason I’ve capturedhired them to work for me.
At night, strange moans echo from their room in that east wing of the mansion. They think I’m clueless as to what their doing. They forget I’ve got expert voyeurs in this mansion (namely Gilbo, Francis and Kiku). They don’t know I’ve got dozens of their threesome nights on tape. And they also don’t know how much money you can make off them on eBay.
(When these three can’t function the next morning, I call in the Kuroshitsuji trio — Finny, Bard and Maylene — to protect the mansion from copyright owners who want their characters back.)
My best friendspersonal Butlers
It was hard to convince Grell to stay (the only guy his type seems to be Roderich). Luckily for me, Ciel and Sebastian comes to visit once in a while. It didn’t take long before the both of us got along and became friends. After all, we do have the same interests. -cough-
I didn’t call him. He just shows up once in a while out of absolutely nowhere. We can relate with each other, so we’re pretty close now. Plus, we share the same hobby of wanting to rob Roderich of his pride. For some reason, whenever we want to harass him, that’s when Hungary shows up armed with a video cam. It’s a wonder how Roderich survives all this abuse (you have to include Grell).
My personal Chefs with benefits
Francis Bonnefoy (France)
I didn’t even hire him. Francis followed Roderich (see? Everyone abuses him) here. He was going to leave, but then he found Iggy cooking for me. I had a “fearing-for-my-life” look on my face and Francis decided to save me by becoming my cook.
It’s too bad I’m not able to tell him I’d rather have Italy’s cooking (who I secretly call once in a while to have some pasta goods). The only reason I keep him is because there isn’t anyone manly-looking in the mansion. When I say manly, I mean “There are no seme in this mansion!” … (well, aside Gilbo who’s another story …)
Setsuna F. Seiei
I’m somehow strangely enchanted with the idea of season one Set-chan in a kitchen trying to cook for me. I’m also strangely enchanted with the idea of Francis helping my boy with the task. Set-chan doesn’t normally make anything delicious, but it’s edible. One day, he’ll bake a lemon meringue and serve it to me in an apron saying: “I hope you like it. I tried my best.”
I’ll eat it and tell him he’s getting better. He’ll try and hide a smile, but I can see his cheeks redden. Iggy, at that moment, barges into the room with a plate of god-knows-what calling me a horrible person for liking the chef’s food more than his home cooking. Why? Because he’s the waifu and I should like his cooking more.
(But when Iggy realizes he called himself a “waifu” he’ll run away, call Francis, and start drinking to drown his sorrows.)
My personal Pets
I knew it wouldn’t be easy to hire someone to be my pet. I was originally stalking Edward Elric, but I ended up in near-death situations enough to give up. I was depressed because I didn’t think anyone else could make a better pet than Ed. That’s when I spotted 59-chan. I had to stalk him for a while before attempting my kidnapping. The day of my plan, Gokudera disappeared. He went 10 years into the future, thus making it impossible for me to follow him. Luckily for me, I found out about the “Gokudera Unit“. I bought it as soon as I could.
At least no ones going to come sue me for the rights to 59-chan.
My personal Cross-dressing Meido Team
Honda Kiku (Japan)
He can cook. He has ninja skillz. He can cross-dress. He can do chores. Is there anything my dear Kiku can’t do? The reason he isn’t my waifu is because of biased preferences towards tsundere and the reason he isn’t my mistress is because I make him an accomplice to my crimes. Besides, if I keep Kiku around, Iggy won’t feel as lonely and depressed. It’s good to have friends around, right? (I’m such a good person)
(Not to mention immediate access to Japanese goods)
The People who Live next Door
Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis
Turn out, the mansion I’ve been using for my fantasies belonged to the Phantomhive family. When Ciel came to visit, I thought he was offering himself to me, but he just came to notify me that if I destroyed his mansion, he’d make sure Sebastian showed me hell. I said that’s alright because Grell was living here.
The duo comes to visit once in a while for some tea and scones. I feed them Iggy’s food because:
(a) they can’t taste how horrible it is
(b) they actually think it’s delicious
(c) they’re Englishmen
-breaks out of fantasy mode-
I always wanted to dress out my fantasies in a post. I couldn’t cover all of them, but this is the gist of my fujoshi wishes. (I phail for not getting Miharu in there.)
Now excuse me while I enjoy Iggy’s wonderful singing.